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All about Sorry Mr Ex

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Welcome to Sorry Mr Ex here you can read all about my new book!

If only Mr eX could understand the cause of my despicable, drunken actions, that dreadful afternoon. I hadn’t always been so wild, but now since that unfortunate event, that Friday afternoon at the E******h Centre, S******, which has dented my merriment, all has been lost.....but will he forgive me?                     

         In quintessence, honesty is the best policy, that burning desire for every ex to know about your past relationships, well in this case I have left no stone unturned. I have delved into all my personal thoughts, fantasies and desires. It is imperative, Mr eX wears my shoes, and encounter everything I have experienced, to gain a clear understanding of my, uncharacteristic, behaviour.

 

"Dearest Mr eX,

 

I’m deeply SORRY for the hell that I have put you through, in these last few days! I’m sure you’re regretting that very moment you walked into my store, that very day, seeking help with your mobile phone…well the rest is history now! I myself truly don’t understand my own capabilities but that certainly doesn’t excuse me for my recent, erratic behaviour, which I assure you never happened before!

Ok so gorging myself senseless, on a few alcoholic beverages and ransacking your workplace at peak time in S****** High Street, calling your boss an obnoxious, overweight and egotistical buffalo, wasn’t really the smartest move. Aggressively hounding your work colleague J into giving me an eye test, was a little abrasive! But seriously I couldn’t suppress myself when he began flashing those lights directly into my dilating pupils, now that was inevitably going to make me feel nauseated. I know now vomiting all over J’s cherished Armani suit wasn’t very ladylike, but in my defence I did try to direct that vomit in the bin, it’s just his short stumpy legs got in the way!

That excess burst of energy, obviously from the caffeine, catapulted me into running up and down those steep steps to your, “out of bounds,” staff room, I must have looked like a gerbil on speed or something! Alcohol tends to unbolt those hinged curiosity cells and I swear I could hear groans coming from that staff room, so I guess I needed to check it out, for HEALTH AND SAFETY purposes! I was certainly on the road to destructing my self esteem; I’m embarrassed to indulge in the rest of the story!

I completely understand the reason for getting myself barred from your workplace, but nearly costing you your own job was utterly foolish, not to mention excruciatingly awkward!

After many years of soul searching and numerous amounts of failed disastrous relationships, I’d finally found you, a kind, compassionate and simply adorable guy. You’ve, without fail; have managed to laugh at all my pathetic jokes, which in itself have been quite heart-warming, seen as many guys have found my sense of humour to be in short supply. Also they way you mimic my pronunciation of the letter “R”, which I’m compelled to exaggerate, emphasizing it with an American accent, always tinkers my happy buds, I can honestly reminisce for eternity….

So Mr eX, I hope it’s not too late to explain my budding fascination with you, it’s imperative I begin with my rebellious attitude….."

Extracts from the book......

"Finally retiring to our room, after making such spectacles of ourselves, in Bournemouth, I couldn’t seem to control the tone of my voice, seeing that four poster bed again, excited me to the point of screaming with joy. I know it was one, in the morning, but it was a bloody gorgeous bed!

That look of embarrassment, on your face, just encouraged me to excel myself more and more, until you shut me up, the only way one could, by clutching at my hair and propelling your sweet lips against mine, that embrace was RAW, PASSIONATE and ABRUPT, arousing every sensitive sensation in my body!

Hurriedly we leapt into bed, abrasively shredding one another’s clothes off, still engrossed in that passionate embrace, forcing me to discharge erotic feeble grunts. You, mischievously, ran your fingers along my thigh, enticing me to circulate slow bouts of quiver, with each alluring me to delve further into our embrace.

As you slowly kissed the, receptive, edges of my neck, my body began to tremor with pure pleasure, seizing for its depths to be explored. The groans I bellowed echoed from the agitation you put me through, whilst teasing me with the stimulation of your supple fingers. Your lips gently made their way back upon mine, with the slightest interruption of you whispering, softly into my ear,

“I want to make love to you.”

I tensed, with the immediate ejaculation of laughter, I’m sorry!

Yes that must have been a bit of a mood killer but I’ve never had a guy say he wants to “make love to me.” Previously I’ve heard, from Nyan, “Hurry we haven’t got much time, let’s get naked” or with Aden, “Can we have sex now please?” So from my experience, hearing that, inflicted me to laugh nervously, but in fact it had actually aroused me even more!

I bolstered my body, up from the bed, and pinned you down to resume to our fervent encounter. As much as I loved that bed, that creaking noise it screeched, was enough to awaken all four floors beneath us, I thrust myself back and forth evoking yet more thudding sounds, from the bed, the moment I had reached Mount Everest, I squealed a sigh of unadulterated satisfaction!

That night, “making love” till the wee hours of the morning, had me banished into the land of snooze, well until seven in the morning, when we decided we needed more exercise!

          “That night” I have to say was the most memorable nights I have experienced, it was so energizing, so thrilling with excitement and passion and the SEX WAS INCREDIBLY AWESOME! Me, being a, verbally inhibited person, wasn’t able to share that insight with you, resulting in me once again, shutting myself from you, in fear of this bubble bursting. I have issues with expressing myself:-

Issue 1- I can’t express myself.

Issue 2 –I won’t express myself.

Issue 3-I’m too scared to express myself.

          I just thought, by me expressing my true feelings after that night, I was worried you might laugh!"

 

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